Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
