she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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