ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
