Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm having to shit out rocks
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