ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
