p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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