I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If I die, sorry about rent.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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