WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
