What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
how drunk are you?
Several
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
