Just mADE A PArabola og urine
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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