I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
