I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
