I don't usually arrange sex via text message
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
