Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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