I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
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Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
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I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party