The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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