Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You're a waste of cheezeits
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
