I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The uberlube is also flammable
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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