awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
