I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i came on her dog
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
