It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
