I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize