if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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