Did you just see the Batmobile???
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Randomize
