Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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