Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Randomize
