Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
