Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
