Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
did you just send me my own nude
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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