I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize