New invention idea: vibrating tampons
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
