Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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