this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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