The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.