I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?