we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I look better un-naked...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.