my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
