If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
