I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
