well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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