You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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