Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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