im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
