I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
