He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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