I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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