Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize