I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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