so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My cat gives me a boner
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
