dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
