maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How does it feel to date your dad?
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