About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
