Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
