Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
