That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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