dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I have post one night stand depression
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