You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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