just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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