do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
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