"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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